Hello, Peanut

About a month ago, at exactly July 12th 2012, my classmates and I found an orange kitten trapped in one of the empty cupboards in the lab.

Tasha went all out to save this kitten and since she was already taking care of 2 grown male cats (Tai Tai and Jerry) in her room, she couldn't keep this orange kitty.

So I took him in and named him Peanut.

Peanut, on the first day

Peanut was really scared and shaky in the beginning. Then he got super noisy and pooped all over my bed. I wasn't ready for it and wanted to give him up but I was really heartbroken when I left him at the foodcourt one day. He had only been with me for a week and already I was attached.

So Yek, my sweet gentleman boyfriend came to the rescue. He took Peanut in and took care of him until I was ready for that commitment. I love Yek so much for this. He never had a pet of his own but he kept Peanut for me because he knew I loved him and could never let him go.

Yek did a really great job at training and taking care of Peanut. He was getting attached to Peanut, too. And almost didn't wanna let me have Peanut back when I asked. I promised we would have shared custody over him.

So now, Peanut is with me and he's been a really good and well-behaved boy. Well, not exactly well-behaved, he dashes around the room and bites and scratches people. But despite all that hyperactivity, he poops and pees at the right place. This is gonna sound weird, but his toilet is a dustpan. I'm definitely keeping this little fella!

Here are pictures of my little orange monster.

Always monkeying around

After I got him back from Yek, he sat right here

Always disturbing me when I'm on my laptop

Falling asleep while I surf the net

Yek used to let him sleep in the drawer, now Peanut does this

Our last picture together, before I go home tonight

I'm a night away from home. And I have a confession to make.

I'm not as close to God as I used to be. I haven't been for months.

I've been keeping this to myself because I didn't wanna be judged. I wasn't proud of myself. I'm not proud of myself. But when I told Yek this just now, I felt so much better. So I think I should tell everyone else now. Or at least, anyone who cares to read this blog anyway.

I don't really know what happened to me. I guess, in words, "I got tired" was the best way to put it. Worst reason ever, I know, but that's the truth.

Yek said maybe I was stressed out or maybe not a lot of things were happening in my life, or that maybe I didn't have enough trouble that would make me seek God. I don't think it was any of that.

I wasn't that kind of person who only seeks God when she's in trouble. No. I used to talk to God about everything, every time, everywhere, like He was an invisible friend who is constantly by my side. I didn't need reason to talk to Him. I talked to Him practically all the time.

But now I've stopped. This never happened before. And now that it is happening, I don't know what to do. The moment I realized I was falling away, I tried to pray. I really did. But sad thing was, I didn't know what to say. I just lost the ability to say anything to Him. It's like I forgot how. And I got tired of trying.

I really want to go back to God. Go back to being joyful in His arms. I miss that. I know it's going to be tough. But Yek was right, I should keep trying to pray anyway.

I'm so blessed to have Yek. He reminded me that my faith was the most beautiful thing I have and I should never lose it. He was even willing to back away to save it, thinking he was the reason this happened.

I love you, sweetie, but I have to do this myself. I'm going back to God one way or another. And if I'm going to have to cry about it, I will.

I'm going back to you, Father, because You never left me.

You're right here,

You never stepped a single foot away.

You never stopped loving me.

And Your arms are always wide open.