Goodbye, Sammy

Sammy passed away today.

He was really weak lastnight. He didnt want to eat. He just laid there. When I held him, he would wag his tail but you would know something was wrong because his tail was down. Vodka was fine, she still had the energy to run around but didn't want to eat either. We thought she must be like that because Sam wasn't well.

Before we left home this afternoon, I went to their cage and checked on Sam. He looked up at me and wagged his tail. He looked better than he did lastnight. I was gaining hope.

It's really funny how good times always end with a bad one. I thought that was over for me. Lately, whenever I have a good day, I'd always end up sleeping with a smile on my face, and thanking God repeatedly before I fall asleep. But things went back to the way it used to today. I had a really good time hanging out with Kenaidy earlier, (though Nelson left and Gurjit never showed up). But when I got home, mom told me Sammy died.

I couldn't believe my ears. I thought she was joking. Then I realized she would never joke about anything like this. It would just be so cruel. I ran to where Sammy's body laid. I touched him and it was as if he was still there. He wasn't cold at all. He just wasnt moving, wasnt breathing, wasnt wagging his tail. I held him for quite a while, still couldnt believe he was gone.

Mom said he could've been poisoned. Before he passed, there was blood coming out of his anus. Mom saw him die just a few seconds before we arrived. She said he was wailing and when his wailing stopped, he was gone. It must be a really painful sight. We buried Sam soon after.

We're really worried about Vodka now. She might have been poisoned too. She goes wherever Sammy goes. Eats whatever Sammy eats. And she's getting weaker and weaker. She laid in the front porch and her breathing grew heavy. Just as Sammy did.

I'm not mad at God. I'm just mad at the heartless person who poisoned them. I cant forgive you. I know I should, but I cant bring myself to do so. This is too painful.

Sometimes God takes away the things we love so our hands would be free to receive something better. I dont know what could be better than Sammy or what could replace him. But I'm keeping my trust in God. He would heal Vodka if that is His will. And if it isn't, I'll understand.

But it doesn't mean I've given up.