tomorrow's Friday

and I'll be at the hospital in the afternoon to get a full body scan, X-ray, MRI etc. to help the doctors figure out what's going on with me. I don't know what's going to happen and I don't know what to expect. To be blatantly honest, I'm really scared now.

I'm usually a calm and collected person when it comes to things, but this is different. This is my spine, my health. It's the thing that changed me and it's the one thing that can actually scare me.

Only God knows what's going to happen. I do trust Him. I really pray and hope that this is not a serious case. I can't imagine going through another surgery again. I can't even imagine having to watch my mum cry over me again. It's a painful blow when you're the reason for your mother's tears.

So, Father, please please please place Your healing hands on me. Please heal me. I believe in You, in Your power to heal. I believe in miracles because that's what You've been showing me all along. I place my hopes in You.

I know I don't deserve You, Jesus. I'm a sinner and I've hurt You so many times. Still, You chose me, You loved me before I even had my heart set on You. For this I'm certain that You are with me through this, and through everything.

You are all around me on every side;
you protect me with your power.
Your knowledge of me is too deep;
it is beyond my understanding.
Where could I go to escape from you?
Where could I get away from your presence?
If I went up to heaven, you would be there;
if I lay down in the world of the dead, you would be there.
If I flew away beyond the east
or lived in the farthest place in the west,
you would be there to lead me,
you would be there to help me.

Psalm 139:5-10