Monday, December 20, 2010

with hearts wide open

Hello, there! I'm back in Kuching. I spent 3 days and 2 nights in Santubong Resort with my little brother, my close friends and a large group of people I've never met before. I had an amazing experience!

This was my first time joining the EBC Youth Camp. Thank you so much for inviting me, Theresa! I brought my brother along with me and yeah, he wasnt too happy about it at first until he met Sebastian, a friend from school. Then, came Jordan, another friend from school.

Honestly, I was hesitant about going, even though I registered weeks before. On the night of my last exam, I thought about calling Theresa and telling her I didnt feel like going anymore, with an excuse of needing rest after SPM. Ridiculous, really. But I thought I would just give it a chance, even when, in my mind I didnt think anything could touch me anymore, as if I have had enough.

This camp proved me wrong. So, so wrong because two amazing things happened to me on our last night there. I received my second gift and perhaps, a third one too. The Holy Spirit touched me, again and again, despite the fact that I had a slight fever that night.

I've never prayed over anyone before because I've always lacked confidence. I didnt think my prayers could move anyone and I didnt think I could ever be a vessel of Christ. I knew how to pray in tongues since I received the gift when I was fifteen, but I still felt insecure about my prayers. That night, when Pastor Ben called out those who felt left out and were not touched by the Holy Spirit, I saw my brother walked up. It made my heart leap in joy, I was so proud of him for longing for something in God. But at the same time, I was scared because, well, my brother's heart is as hard as a rock. He had always had a tough time letting go.

Pastor Ben and the committee members started praying over this group of people. I could see that there were two guys praying over my brother. Sebastian and Mark. I was standing in the corner, praying quietly for him but I could sense that he was still holding back. I was so worried and I had this strong urge to walk up and pray over him. I was so scared, but I did it anyway. I guess when he heard my voice, he stopped being so tensed. So many strong words came out of my lips and my brother started crying and was slowly letting go. When I ran out of words to say, I prayed in tongues. Even so, I could feel that my brother was still holding back. I then told him it's okay to let go and it's okay to fall because Jesus will catch you. Before I even finished my sentence, he was already on the ground.

I stared at him and thought, "What did I just do?". I didnt know what to think but I was thankful that my brother was finally touched by the Holy Spirit. I ran to Theresa and hugged her. She prayed over me and told me that I shouldnt be scared about what I had done because I was now a vessel and the spiritual bond I have with my brother is now stronger.

The second amazing thing was the fact that I received the gift of vision. When I was on the ground, begging God to show me something, begging to see His face and begging to feel him, a vision about one of the guys in the camp flashed in my mind. It was strange because I didnt even know him. This person was Joshua. The vision was a beautiful one, but sad and a little scary at the same time. I was so scared to walk up to Joshua to tell him about it but I knew that the message should be delivered. I was really scared because I didnt know this guy and I didnt know how he would react. Thankfully, I built up the courage to tell him about it by the end of the night and he told me that it was like an answered prayer. I was surprised, really.


Our tags were right, we are "never the same again".

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