with all my heart

Hey everyone. I'm halfway through my finals. Sat for four papers this week, three of which were in BM. All the papers were pretty good so far. I've got two more papers to sit for next week. Biology and Chemistry. Can't wait to get everything over and done with. I'll be going home next Sunday. I really miss home. I miss my mum especially.

The entire time I was here, I've been really good at controlling my emotions. I don't cry often but the only times I cried were, well; the first week I was here, that time my dog died and this Tuesday.

My mum called me on Monday night and told me something really sad. I knew she's been sick lately, but last Friday, she called and told me her thighs were swollen and she had to go to the doctor to get a blood test. I've been praying my heart out for her and it was just painful to find out she has thyroid.

Yes, I'm sensitive and bad things make me cry. But whenever it comes to my mum, it hurts the most. My mum is very important to me. She's the one person I love most in my life, right next to Jesus. So when bad things happen to her, it breaks me down.

My mum has gone through so much in her life, she's sacrificed a lot for other people and she neglects herself. So it really broke my heart when this happens.

I'm not mad at God, though. I won't even question Him for this. I know things like this happen, although I don't believe my mum deserves this at all. As much as this hurts me, I know we have hope. I know it with my whole heart that God will place His healing hands on her and pull her out of this, just like He did with everything else before.

"And this small

and temporary trouble we suffer

will bring us a tremendous and eternal glory,

much greater than the trouble."

- II Corinthians 4:17

In His hands, I rest all this. This sickness is out of my hands, but I know I'm working really hard here for my mum. Yes, I'm making my own dream come true, but it's her that I always keep in mind. I'm never going to stop trying to please her and trying to make her happy.

If anyone's ever wonder why I'm always so hard on myself, well, this is the reason why.

I'm not complaining, though. Because of my mum, nothing could ever get me distracted. And if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't even be here. She gives me the freedom to do what I want, but still reminds me to keep my heart and head in the right place. Words can't describe how much my mum means to me.

I'll never stop praying for you, mummy.