putting me down, again.

We all sat for our Addmath quizzes last week. Chapter One and Chapter Two. Since our teacher is kinda mental(in a good way), she gave us the chapter 2 paper first. And we sat for Chapter 1 the next day. Yesterday, (valentines> screwness) we received our papers. I got 8/10 for Chapt1 and 7/15 for Chapt2. I was a little excited cos I love addmath and I was getting used to it. When my mom, my grandparents and my bro came to pick me up, I told my mom about it. Guess what?

"7 over 15?? That's a fail!"

WHAT! At least I scored SOMETHING! Half of the class got zeroes. Some got 1. Only 2 scored full marks. And my teacher said 7 is good, seeing as it's only our first time at the subject.

Lastnight, when I texted my sister, she jokingly called me "useless" and I said "Whaaaat?" and she told me that my mom said I was having trouble with addmath. I WASNT ANYMORE! So I talked to my mom about that this morning during breakfast, my mom started lecturing me about how doctors MUST have at least a credit for addmath. And she also said it in my face that my sister's friend (who failed her addmath paper) had to repeat another semester. HOLY GIRAFFE I WANTED TO BITE THE TABLE LISTENING TO THAT! She talks about my addmath as if I'm so effkin hippo dumb at it!

And what's worse was that, last week, she said my bro is smarter than I am. At first, I thought she only said that to lift my bro's confidence up. But no. She turned to me and said, "I wonder what you would have gotten if you never studied."

She was saying that my bro scored 3A's in UPSR and he never studied. UPSR! Dude, that was mother cake easy! While me, on the other hand, I have to study so hard in order to score good results in PMR. What she didnt know?! I did not study for the five subjects I got A for. The only subjects I studied so hard for was History and Geography. And if scoring B for studying Form1, 2 and 3 all in a few months time is not enough, then HEC I DONT KNOW WHAT IS !

She puts in a hell lot of pressure on me. Has no idea how much pain I go through. When I started studying so hard last year, I thought she would notice and stop calling me "lazy'. But no. She thinks I'm dumb for not scoring straight A's. WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG HERE?! Why cant she appreciate what I do? Nothing I do is ever enough. I'm just a kid for heaven's sake!

And now, my back is starting to hurt again trying to study so much. I think I could only die to ever be the best in her eyes. I guess I'm just going to do things without her support.

But I still love my mom no matter how much she hurts me.