A First

I was having trouble with my faith. I sinned. And my guilt hit me hard. I know everyone is a sinner, and everyone does it, but how many truly realizes God's pain? I had a tough week, brutally killing myself over my guilt. I thought of all the sins I've committed, I thought of all those times I hurt God. He must have suffered so much.

"They may be small. But pile them all up and they make a mountain."

I poured my heart out to Theresa. All my questions and worries. I knew she would understand and I knew she wouldnt judge me. I trusted her views when it comes to Christianity. And I always will. The fact that she's an Evangelist and I'm a Catholic never matters to me. After all, we are all equal in God's eyes.

She invited me to come to Youth with her. It was on a Saturday night. Knowing my house rules, I wasnt allowed to go out at night. We both prayed that my mom would let this slip. Our prayers were answered.

Really, this was the first time I had ever been to a youth gathering. The first time I had ever gone for a Bible study. I was nervous. I didnt know what to expect. Theresa told me not to worry and to just be myself.

The first person I met was Nathanael. He was very friendly.
And then I met Phoebe, she was friendly too.
And Sarah, Disney, Alicia, Daniel.
Everyone was open.
My nerves went away.
But I was still quiet and shy.

Before youth started, I went out for dinner with Theresa and three of the new people I just met. Sarah, the leader, whose driving reminds me of my sister's, which is exciting. Phoebe, whose red hair I adore and made me wonder if she was still schooling. And Daniel, the boy with the dorky smile, who loves chillies.

Phoebe wondered if the waiter was Korean cause he looked like one. I wondered if he could dance. And then we all came to the conclusion that all Koreans can dance. Haha!

When we were back, everyone gathered in a room to pray and sing praise together. I didnt know any of the songs, so I stood and watch. Reening lead praise and worship. He had so much spirit. Everyone did. Most of them closed their eyes and tilted their heads up to heaven and sang their hearts out to God. At that moment, I wished I knew the songs so I could do the same.

When Theresa officially introduced me to everyone, they turned to me.
Everyone: Hi Phoebe!
Sarah: She is one of the THREE Phoebes here.
Someone: Really?
Sarah: One is Phoebe, Ben's cousin. Then, Phoebe this red hair one. And Phoebe...?
Theresa: Simon.
Sarah: Phoebe Simon!
Everyone: Aaahh...

These people inspired me. They have so much faith and knowledge in God. Watching and listening to them pray, sing and talk about God made me smile. They keep God's words in their hearts and they're not afraid to show it. They are happy and content. Joyful. That's the right word. One of the gifts of the spirit. One I long to have, too :)

"Remember to welcome strangers into your homes. There were some who did that and welcomed angels without knowing it."
- Hebrews 13:2