I dont think you noticed

that you're on my mind every single day.
that I secretly spell your name out in the skies

I saw you today, only to feel invisible
Because I didnt think you noticed me
I dont think you noticed.

I've seen hearts scarred. They told the truth only to find bad news.
I can hold it in. The truth. But I'm scared to wait longer.
I dont want to tell and lose you a second later.
But I dont want to tell. Period.
At least not now.

Honestly, I still care about what people would think.
As much as I hate to admit it. I still do.
I've never been here. And I dont know much.

And I am way too scared of figuring out.

dog talk

I've always dreamed of having a Siberian Husky. I actually had it all planned out. Once I'm a successful zoological vet, I'd get myself a Sibe Husky and travel around the world with him.

It just sucks all kinds of existing balls that I live in a place with such tropical and humid climate! Now, how is my future husky gona live?? He needs snow to play in! All spitz need snow, dammit.I love spitz of all breeds. Siberian Husky of all spitz! You would say, "Okay, okay, you love sibe huskies, I get it. But what if you cant have one, what would you settle with?"

Other spitz I lo0o0ove...
I know they look pretty much the same to you. But believe me, they're not. One is way more intelligent than the other. One is bigger and the other is smaller. One is friendlier, the other is shy or well, fierce. But they all dislike smaller animals. So cute! xD

I'd usually prefer less furry dogs, but I fell in love with this Japanese Spitz. Just look at it!
Doesnt he look so much like a Polar Bear ? x) Click this link and I promise you no regrets: http://www.dailypuppy.com/puppies/wilson-the-japanese-spitz_2008-04-01

We all know, once she started, there aint no stopping...Ray and her apek accent!

We were in the Bio lab. Getting bored listening to the teacher explain about passive movements (?). So we flipped the pages of the textbook. Ray saw a picture of Dolly, the first cloned sheep.

Ray: Haiyo! Dolly.. Dolly the clone sheep, oh!
Me: Die ready ah!
Ray: Haiyo! You stupik girl!

There is not a day when you dont hear "Haiyo! You stupik girl!"

It's gona be a bright bright bright sunshiny day!

Okay, so I guess today's one of my happy-go-sing day. No, no, its not happy-go-lucky. Nothing lucky-ish happened, I just kept singing every song I listen to. Just...thank God I got out of the car before friggin Miley started conquering the radio with her fly. Uselessness. Just like V Hudgens. Man, these girls are contaminating the world with their hypocrisy. Dont like what I'm saying? Get out of my blog! Like I car if you dont read it :P

Anyhoots! This was so random. I was gona tell the world about my Littleninja pet on Facebook. But I got carried away with the song.

My singing suck pretty dolls heads, I dont care. Dont judge me. Only God can. I'm just so happy whenever I listen to this song :D and so...I sing along!

1 minute after recording the video above: Mom and dad got home. I was still singing it when I went to the kitchen. Then, dad told me to look for the chords online. I did and he started playing the guitar for me. Yayyy!

admit it

one kick ass song and the things they say are so true..
Say Anything rocks my floppy flipadee socks!

to fellow friggin Columbans

Yeah, keep rollin'
Make me miss St. Co a whole lot more.
Take more pics. Take more vids.
Go a little crazier. Go a little wilder.
Here comes the editing.
Make it pretty.
Post them, post them.
I'm so begging for Miri !

♥ ♥ ♥

and the birthday girl wrote

First of all, THANK YOU MICHELLE! For that beautiful blog you wrote for me :D Who knew I could touch hearts like that. Oooh! I touched your heart. Get it? Touch? AHAHAHAHAHA! Oh yeah! Turn sixteen and a little hornier. Nice! (Wait till it's your turn, man)

And thank you SO much to everyone else for the Birthday wishes. Aleen, Fiqah, Helena, Far, Gurjit, Nadine, Peterson, Tio, Kara, Fera, Bethany, Abby, Jasmine, Qyira (whoa I can go all day!), Arantza. Now, this girl right here, she hadnt had enough of wishing me Happy Birthday on Facebook she had to text me too. Like my lezban; phone, facebook and blogspot! I love all you guys so much!

For the record, I didnt have a big, overrated sweet sixteen. One people would talk about for the rest of their lives. One people would tell their greatgrandkids about. One people would rate "Wayy greater than my wedding, dude". No, I didnt and I dont want that.

(My little cuzin just told me, "I'm shy to tell you happy birthday..." and giggles) Aww..

I got two birthdays this year! One was at Michelle's and I had a blast! The rocket kind of blast and also the happy kind of blast. Very yummy yum yum Choc Cookie Cake. Tell your dad I say thanks again! They surprised me. Good thing my nuts didnt jump out of my pants! Omg, there goes my secret...

When I heard Michelle and Pam screaming in the kitchen, I wanted to get in there and be a hero. I thought there was a Super Cicak or something. I could go talk to it and solve things. But no0o0o0o...Michelle told me Pam was naked in there. Yah, you really got me there! I really thought she was out of her clothes! Until you guys burst out of the kitchen and made me scream...

Today, I celebrated my sweet sixteen with the family. Had BBQ and cake! Ice cream cake! Now, this cake story is funny. Apparently, mom went running around making the lady at Taka Cake House bake me a Simpson cake. The lady doesnt know how any of the Simpsons look like. So, mom asked my bro to print out their pics and then I got this!

Mom: Look, Phoebe! See how much I love you.
Me: *opens box* Ahhhh! Hihihihihi!
Mom: *laughs at me*
Me: Now, what ever happened to Bart?

Lol! I was only kidding. Me liiiiiiike the cake!








Her head is miiiine!

proudest moment in my skating history (besides the first time I kicked right)

That Saturday when we were at Michelle's, I made her watch some skate vids. She was like, "That's so cool! Makes me wana skate too..."

Yesterday,
Nigarose: Yo, phoby. Whr do ya buy skateboards in kch?
Phobadog: Rupert Rage at Centre Point near Sarawak Plaza. Walk upstairs.
Nigarose: How do I pick out a skateboard? Like wht are the good ones?
Phobadog: I like Element. It's expensive tho. How bout you get a cheap one for try out
Nigarose: Orait. Thank you Phobadawg.

Duuuuude, she was mother serious about this! Whoooot! I've influenced my goat to skate :D

retards reunited

Aleen and Fiqah came over to Kuching for the hols. We went to Spring yesterday. Daryl, Ray's lil bro tagged along. The poor thing. He looked so (please type an adjective here) surrounded by loud, psychotic and retarded monkeys. But of course! We fed him and he got to eat lotsa things. He ate my worms, Fiqah's sotong (im not sure what u call that thing), Ray's sour tape anddd...I'm not sure what Aleen gave him. Probably nothing. Oh, that devilish monkey!

We were at Quicksilver. Aleen wanted to buy a new wallet. Fiqah helped her. Ray and I found the fitting rooms.

Ray: Come on, lets be vain.
Phoebe: Camwhore time!

We took some pics. Daryl was in the first 2 pics. And then! He went out and locked us in! That heavy thing was leaning against the door. Now, this is the part where you really hate yourself for being skinny.


But in the end he convinced us that we were being dellusional and he wasnt leaning against the door. I dont know how he got there so fast!

what's been down

Its not enough its not enough its not enough its not enough... I heart Shaant! He can do dramatic in style. Like Adam! Who0o0ot!

Oh! COPS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA! Somebody's gona get busted! xD
This is so cool.

Darn, my black nail is screwed. Yah, mom painted my nails yesterday. And the one on my right middle finger is screwed. Now I cant give an awesome middle finger at people! Guhreat..

Hey, Nigarose, I want my pendrive. You better not throw it in Sungai Tasik Fishy cos I got Mr. Ma with me and we shall bomb your house tomorrow! Buahahahahahahaha!

No, we're not emo. We just look amazing in black B-)

Emo Art

Emo art fascinates me. You know how broken or shattered things are personified in pictures or drawings or icons. Like the word "Hope" hanging at the end of a broken string for example. I like that. Emonized and creative.

A few minutes ago, I took this picture and emonized it.











Just practicing emonization :D


Like my hand-modelling? ;)

Rocket Parrrrrty!

http://thesewordscankill.blogspot.com/
Michelle does a better job at explaining this, go to her blog and read it, okay, kids?
Yah! I am posting it, Michelle! Or Micheal, whatever your guy name is. Cant believe I was Adrian and I thought he was a real guy and Pam was upset that he had a girlfriend and I kept on singing dramatically, repeating his name. "AAAADRIIIIAN! Oh, Adrian! Adrian!"
So, the Rocket Party didnt exactly go as planned. Well, we didnt really plan much except, "Okay, so Michelle's driver is gona pick us up, we're gona have pizza before we do our rocket and then her driver is gona send us back to school..."

Yes, we did eat pizza and then we went to the pc room to check out some water rockets done by people from around the world and uh, lets just say we got distracted :D

Here are the many random and spastic things we did...
(I dont even know where to start!)

We must start with her drinking

Pose with the black billboard!

I'm the next best Power Ranger!

So amused by the faiyah !

Acting like the bitchy boss, are we?

Sara tryina 'pump' the flowers =/

Friday the 13th

This morning when I came to class, only Sara and I were there. Everybody else were probably hangin out at the canteen or they just havent arrived yet. Either one. Alicia Keys' No One was playing in the car right before I got out. So, you can see why I had it stuck in my head. Sara sat next to me and I was reading Anansi Boys (yeh, I'm not done with it) and she said, "Oh! I should go get my book and read too."

When she came back, we were both reading and the prefects came to do their usual rounds. Sara was like "There's nobody in the class, you guys can go now." Lol! But they didnt care anyway so they walked to our table. I was singing opera real loud while reading. I was in a real good mood, until one of the prefects came up to me and said, "I'm sorry but I'm gona have to give you a demerit."

Phoebe: Whyyyy?
Prefect: Your socks. It has writings on them.
Phoebe: Oh, man..
Prefect: Here, please write your name, your class and sign at the bottom.

I did what she told me to and she filled in the rest.

Phoebe: So we're not allowed to wear socks with writings on them?
Prefect: No.
Phoebe: *stares at socks* *turns to the prefect* Hey! You werent supposed to see them!

On the way home, my dad, my bro and I were listening to Bob Marley in the car. Yeh, mom was still at the kindergarten, she had a meeting. Partay! We played Red Wine twice. Well, actually, my dad didnt know he downloaded 2 copies of it on the cd. Oh, that old man...
When we reached home, I texted Aleen.

Phoebe: Red red wine you make me feel so fine! Keep me rockin all of the time :D
Aleen: What is wrong with you?
Phoebe: Bob Marley rocks my socks! Oh! Speak of socks, I got demerit today cos my socks got writings on them. Grr. I told the prefect she wasnt supposed to see that.
Aleen: HAHAHAHAHAHA! How did they see that? Mata superman ka apa?

Oh holy brocomolli! It is not Sunday

Today, I just realized that...

1. pears have more juice compared to apples. Yes, it's true. Whenever there's no food in the kitchen, I would usually grab an apple, cut it into cubes and make a mean Phoebe's Apple Salad. But! Today, there was no apple in the fridge. There were only oranges and pears. Who makes orange salad, right? So I grabbed the pear and did what I would to an apple. And bam! Wasnt as tasty as an apple salad. Of course, it was juicier. I couldnt really have a taste of mayo in the salad though. You know how much I love that thing!

2. it is only 4pm in the afternoon (or at least when I realized it, it was 4pm). Mom was nagging about me postponing my homework. Homework as in ironing the uniforms and whatnot. I've been in front of this pc for hours now. I havent done what I planned to do. Well, I never planned to do anything. Lol! Gosh, I've been feeling so mentally-challenged lately. I cant remember a thing. It's getting annoying now. Aint fun> this Amnesia attack!

3. today is not Sunday. See! That's what happens when you give me a holiday for only a day and it's Monday. I just told Ray that it's Sunday today. Now she's gona go walking around like a dumbnut. A worse dumbnut than she already is! I'm responsible for it. What if she knocks into Screamo or Sparkly Feet?

4. I just spelled "Jsut" instead of "Just". Damn you, friggin typo-schmypo!

5. I'm gona stop right here before I encounter another tyo *DOPE!* another typo. So much for that!

6. my so-called macho brother just said "Me love fishies. Fishies! Fishies! Fishies!"

7. I just figured a new cool word: Dismantle! My dad said it. Oh my goth, a new discovery! Awesome! :D Now I'm gona walk around like a genius and say, "Hey Michelle! You dismantled my table!" No wait, we share the same table... Oh! "Hey Ray! You frigging dismantled my stick man!" That would make a lot of sense cos Ray is a deforminator after all.

Insane Adam

For those of you who didnt watch it, you missed one heck of a show! I couldnt stay still in my seat when I was watching it on tv two weeks ago. And I kept grinning like a psychotic monkey who just discovered belacan! This is the only guy I'm rooting for this year. Whooot! Adam Lambert! :D Oh, and Aleen, remember I told you that Randy said he's like Edward Cullen?


Oh, holy goat! Adam, please stoppppp flirting with the camera you're driving me bonkers!

random conversations

The night before, I kinda took too much cough syrup. Dayyumm...it was go0o0od! And I was Michael overdosed. Oh so so beautiful! And! I went to check out my long time crush. Gosh, he's sexy as ever! The next morning I came to school looking all messed up.
Ray: Didnt have enough Michael, huh?
Phoebe: No, I had Michael. Too much of him!
Ray: *burst out laughing*
Phoebe: Okay, that sounded wrong a little..

Michelle walked in. We did our usual psychowhackwhack nonsense. When it was finally quiet, I started thinking about Michael. I grinned (more of the Im-so-stoned kind of grin) and stared at Michelle.
Michelle: Are you on crack?
Phoebe: *nods head* I took three kinds of crack lastnight.
Michelle: Phoby! There's only one kind of crack and that's coccaine!
Phoebe: I dont give a crack!

It was English and I sat way at the back with Michelle. Ray was separated from us and she was actually paying attention (it didnt do her any good. you should've seen her when English was over). So, a classmate was up doing her oral and it was about an Iban warrior. It got me thinking about my oral topic. I havent decided yet. Oh! Before I get to my story with this, let me give you a flash from the past...

*dreamy music plays in the background*
Michelle: You know what, you should talk about Michael Castro. Since you know so much about him. And you can sing This Boy to show how obsessed you are about him. That way, the teacher's bound to give you full marks!

Yes...that idea was real go0o0o0od... Anyhoots, back to the story! I thought of an interesting native history for my oral.
Phoebe: Sometimes I wish I was a Red Indian so I can tell people about our legends.
Michelle: Phoby, you're so strange!

In the Physics lab... I had some thinking time to myself. You know those times when you're in the toilet busy doing your business and your head starts wandering off and you think too much but then you eventually made sense? Well, I was having that. Except I was in the lab and not the toilet and I certainly was not doing my business.

Phoebe: Hey, you know what I realized?
Michelle: What?
Phoebe: After remembering all the guys I've crushed on, I realized there's one thing they all have in common.
Ray: What is it?
Phoebe: I love boys who look like Red Indians.
Ray: *laughs her head off*
Michelle: *stares at me in disbelief. turns to Ray* Just when I thought she couldnt get any stranger, she proves me wrong!

Seriously, I cant help it, okay. Red Indians are hot. I dont give a crocodile crap (I've never seen one, I wana see their crap, I'm curious) if they cant speak English; if all they tell me is, "Kasha makurumaka sha" which I dont even know where I heard that from or what it means. I probably just made that one up. Or it could mean, "Come get in my pants." (or cover or leaf, who knows if they still dont wear pants now) But I wont mind. That's how they usually sound like, right? Hot!

12 things I've always wanted to do

1. Lick my elbow; It's a known fact that no one can lick their elbow. Well, at least that's what I know. I fail every single time I try. And dont even get me started on how many times I've tried today. *pause* Oh, heck! *tries to lick elbow* Dammit...
2. Literally kill somebody with a chopstick; Dont ask. I just want to. I know it's a mortal sin to commit murder but hey, if I kill somebody who killed somebody else, then it would mean I'm disposing off evil, right?
3. Land a kickflip; It doesnt help much that I cant even land an ollie anymore. Let along a kickflip or even a 180 for all that matter. I'm practically a deformed child seeing as I cant even touch my own skateboard. It's on top of the cupboard if you're wondering why. My mom suspected I have no self control.
4. Run up to a couple and tell the girl, "Hey, your perverted boyfriend tried to get in my pants lastnight." ; Yeah...I wanted to do that on Valentines this year but well, lets just say plans were cancelled. Somebody was a little too girly and didnt want to go to Spring.
5. Go to Sweden; If you're my bestfriend, you would know why. Our lives revolve around boysss x)
6. Seriously turn bisexual for three hours and realise it's a sin, then, go for confession after; It just sounds like so much fun! :D
7. Mess up an emo boy's hair; Hot. Imagine an emo boy going mad at you. Wow, it's gona be a record in the emo nation.
8. Steal an ucak's hoodie; Boo hoo! Now the only expensive thing on you is probably that damn annoying shuffle skill. If I could just steal that too...
9. Successfully mug the altar boy for his green St. Jo blazer; Geez, just give it to me already. I can give you a peck and only God would know (well, God and whoever this person is who's reading my blog right now). Deal?
10. Go back in time where headhunters still do what they do best; Alright! Off with the Japanese dude's head! (Ray, watch out, Ima chop your head off)
11. Amputate the boy with the red streak in his hair who stole my first kiss; Damn you.
12. Dance around the fire with Indian feathers around my head and a spear in my hand; Bahahahahaha! xD

to think my mom was gona turn into a headhunter

She did not. Lol! What am I talking about? I'm talking about the paper I bombed. Yes, I bombed a paper. More like, two papers. Addmath and Chemistry. Call me stupid, but hey I dont give a giraffe's crap. It's only my first time so I know what I'm in for.

Screamo: Phoebe! 17 (multiply by 2 and you'll get your exact mark)

So I scored 34 for Addmath. I laughed at it. Some people were sad and emocutcut about their results. I went, "There's no point of being sad, dude. It's only our first time at this."
Seriously, I think it's so ridiculous that people got so worked up about it. I mean, come on. Even Screamo said "It's okay to fail now because you people only first time. But if you dont find your mistakes then next time you fail fail fail again until form five I tell you."

Anyhoots, I never told my mom about my result when we had lunch. I knew dad wouldnt take it so well. I couldnt tell her until a few minutes ago. She went back to the kindy and had a meeting. She was in the kitchen when I finally decided to tell.

Phoebe: *walks into the kitchen and to the toilet to pee* *gets out and laughs* Mami, my teacher told us our marks for Addmath today.
Mom: So what did you get?
Phoebe: He he he...
Mom: Did you fail?
Phoebe: Yah, I got 34.
Mom: 34?
Phoebe: Yah, the entire class failed except for 2 girls who only got B's.
Mom: It's time we send you to tuition.
Phoebe: I choose! I dont wana go to that friggin tuition centre you sent me last year. I want my ex-teacher. She's go0od.
Mom: Okay, you ask her in school next week.

I surviiiiiived! Whooot whoooot! Now, that went well.

Michael my love x)

Michael cut his hair! Gah! I mean, he still has my favorite blond mean streak. Oh, so lovely. He's so beautiful. It dont matter even if he's bald. He's so adorable. Always with Mr. Breedlove Sunburst. Ever since Jason gave that to him. SOH CUTE! Anyways, watch him. Aleen, this was what I attempted to sing that crazy morning at 5am.


P.S. This was before he cut his hair.

I feel so mentally challenged

I dont know what to write about. I mean, I dont really remember what happened today. Okay, yeah, we went for mass and we got 2 paper results. Lets just talk about mass, shall we?

I sat at the third row from the front, it was Ray, Pam and I. Only the three of us in that whole row. Yes, only us. I kept turning back tryina look out for Michelle. "Lezban! Where the hec..I mean, where on earth are you?!" Ray and Pam kept laughing at me and shoved it in my face how they had each other. I was talking to Pam and...

Ray: Hey, Phoby! Get your hands off my girl!
Phoebe: Find my girl and I'll let your lezban go! *started pulling Pam's arm*
Ray: *Pulled Pam's shoe lace*
Pam: Hey! My shoe lace! I'm going to Phoebe!

Other than our usual retardation, I didnt get to mug that altar boy at the back of the church. I wanted his green St. Jo blazer so much! (form6 boys in stjo wear green blazers and they're so pretty. the blazer! not the boys.) Aaaaand, girls were going "Phoebe, where does your handsome brother usually sit?" Gosh, give it up already, man. I heard that my bro was rated 'Top 3 hot form 3 boy in St. Jo' I told him about that and he's like "WAuuu." and went on playing his psp. Yash, that my brothah alright.